Every tragedy is an opportunity to expand empathy.
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Don't normalize HER death, use the shock of her death to show someone that none of this is fucking ok, & that we should be shocked & appalled by all of it.
Do not encourage numbness. Wake people the fuck up.
I want to be clear, this is not about tone policing, this is about motivation & persuasion.
There is a conversation that we can & should have about whose lives get to "matter". That is fine & good.
I'm just saying, don't waste perfectly good empathy. If you are actually sharing a moment with someone who is feeling the pain of one pointless death, you can remind them to carry that feeling with them, because there are so many more. Use the emotion, don't downplay it.
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I want to be clear, this is not about tone policing, this is about motivation & persuasion.
There is a conversation that we can & should have about whose lives get to "matter". That is fine & good.
I'm just saying, don't waste perfectly good empathy. If you are actually sharing a moment with someone who is feeling the pain of one pointless death, you can remind them to carry that feeling with them, because there are so many more. Use the emotion, don't downplay it.
I don't know about you, but sometimes the gaslighting kind of gets to me & I think "maybe living in a police state is just kind of normal. Everyone around me is acting like it is."
The point of reminding people that it HAS BEEN like this for a long, long time is to get them to understand how NOT OKAY it is, not to get them to see it as normal.
We want everyone to grieve EVERY unnecessary death, not to stop grieving any of them.
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Don't normalize HER death, use the shock of her death to show someone that none of this is fucking ok, & that we should be shocked & appalled by all of it.
Do not encourage numbness. Wake people the fuck up.
-
I don't know about you, but sometimes the gaslighting kind of gets to me & I think "maybe living in a police state is just kind of normal. Everyone around me is acting like it is."
The point of reminding people that it HAS BEEN like this for a long, long time is to get them to understand how NOT OKAY it is, not to get them to see it as normal.
We want everyone to grieve EVERY unnecessary death, not to stop grieving any of them.
If someone is riled up and mad about Renee Nicole Good, say "GOOD. You should be." And then tell them who else you are mourning. Tell them about the other lights that have been extinguished. & that is why we have to fucking act. Because people keep dying.
I am not saying don't tell people what's been happening. I am saying that when you DO tell them, make it about how WE have all decided that these fucking pointless deaths have to stop, & make them feel like they are part of that "we".
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If someone is riled up and mad about Renee Nicole Good, say "GOOD. You should be." And then tell them who else you are mourning. Tell them about the other lights that have been extinguished. & that is why we have to fucking act. Because people keep dying.
I am not saying don't tell people what's been happening. I am saying that when you DO tell them, make it about how WE have all decided that these fucking pointless deaths have to stop, & make them feel like they are part of that "we".
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Basically it's just improv: we need to "yes AND" this shit.
Yes, she shouldn't have died, AND no one else should either. Now would you care to help obstruct the fash?
Don't talk to people in a way that just assumes they won't care about something: TELL THEM that they care.
Frankly, maybe it's a psychological dirty trick, but sometimes it literally just helps to talk to someone like they are obviously already on the same page with you.
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Just look at it from the radicalization & recruiting perspective: if you want people on your side, it will probably be more effective to talk to them like you expect they will feel similarly to you than it is to start off with the suggestion that you are in conflict with them.
What people feel for one person, they can feel for other people too. And everyone should be outraged at state violence.
I am not opposed to correcting people. I came out of right wing fundamentalism. I've had to be corrected a lot. It's not fun to be on the receiving end, but sometimes you gotta correct people.
You do NOT gotta correct people for getting outraged by a murder committed by government thugs, though. So IF your goal is to make an ally of this person, you don't want that to be the energy you're giving.
The energy is "NOW you're getting it! LET'S GOOOOOO!" (and then you beat up some Nazis together)
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Don't talk to people in a way that just assumes they won't care about something: TELL THEM that they care.
Frankly, maybe it's a psychological dirty trick, but sometimes it literally just helps to talk to someone like they are obviously already on the same page with you.
Just look at it from the radicalization & recruiting perspective: if you want people on your side, it will probably be more effective to talk to them like you expect they will feel similarly to you than it is to start off with the suggestion that you are in conflict with them.
What people feel for one person, they can feel for other people too. And everyone should be outraged at state violence.
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M monkee@chaos.social shared this topic
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Every tragedy is an opportunity to expand empathy.
The fash need people numb. We need them awake. They normalize State violence. We have to work so hard to make it still feel *abnormal* in our minds.
If someone's crying for Renee Good, don't respond with "oh you care about this, but not THIS?"
Instead sympathize & bring up that other example that was on the tip of your tongue as a tragedy that has the same root. Help them associate what they feel about this injustice with the big picture.
@artemis Fully agree.
i hate "oh you care about this, but not THIS?" it's condescending and self righteous. And it is a pretty sure way to demotivate people to do anything.
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M monkee@other.li shared this topic
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@artemis Fully agree.
i hate "oh you care about this, but not THIS?" it's condescending and self righteous. And it is a pretty sure way to demotivate people to do anything.
@artemis Oh, and it's #Whataboutism too - a strategy to distract people and wear them down. I hate it with a PASSION!
PS: A single human cannot care about everything - our spoons are limited. Everyone does what they can. Our shared Diversity is beautiful and strength!