other.li Forum

@EricLawton
For years - I didn't know that it's still rape if a partner does it. When I was much younger, that wasn't taught to me by anyone. I had to learn the hard way...after getting SAed by 2 different partners. I never reported either one because I thought it was my fault. I told no friends due to feeling massive shame. I was repeatedly told, it was my fault, multiple times/day - by both.
The local SA support centre really helped me to recover & start to heal. I became more educated on different types of SA. I learned that live-in partner SA happens a lot but is more underreported than other forms of SA. It's a combination of insidious DA & SA, when it comes to intimate partners doing it. The shame/self blame, dysfunctional trauma coping behaviours attached to that type of SA is very high.

Thank you for reading. I hope more folks will understand why many SA survivors don't speak for years. It doesn't mean we are lying!

I'm posting here instead of being silent & festering with rage. I can't talk to anyone in my household about this stuff because it disturbs them too much & they're not able to deal with it.
I feel a personal need to find & desecrate the grave of the guy who SAed me. I'm never going to get justice for his crimes. I can maybe help my own healing journey by visiting & desecrating his grave.

I need to vent about the #EpsteinFiles as a teen survivor of SA, who never got to see justice delivered. The guy who raped me died last year without ever being put in prison. He SAed multiple teens & young women, after assaulting me when I was 15 yrs old. He had more social status power than I had. So many people protected him instead of supporting me & others that he SAed & physically beat up. I found out over a decade after he SAed me that he was friends with many corrupt cops & they aided/abetted his multiple crimes over 3 decades. Us teens who were victimized by the same guy didn't have much of a chance - even if we had courage + solid support, to go more public back when we were teens.
Corrupt government run system protect the predators over victims. We supported each other in private to try to recover from SA inflicted traumas.

Those SA traumas never fully leave you...
You just learn how to deal with it a bit better, over time or else it can drown you with heavy emotions & block you from taking back some of your brutally stolen personal power.

I'm very pissed off about people harshly judging the victims/survivors of Epstein's(and his shitty cohorts) sex crimes. People who have never been SAed don't get that it can take many years for people to speak up about what happened to them & some people take their unspoken trauma experiences to their graves. It took tremendous courage for Epstein survivors to speak out in public. I hate people who don't understand how difficult it is to talk about SA traumas in public in the first place - much less do so when the perpetrators are super rich, very powerful public figures. It took me 15 years to speak up in public about what happened to me as a teen.

#BelieveVictims #BelieveSurvivors